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Wasting Away

by Alan Abulencia

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1.
Wasting Away 03:43
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wasting away wasting the day i’m feeling okay but i’m wasting away i’ve been hiding out and writing here in my quiet place i’ve been sitting here away from the world protected from its cold embrace wasting away wasting the day i’m feeling okay but i’m wasting away wasting away wasting the day i’m feeling okay but i’m wasting away wasting away i’m wasting away i’ve got all i need to make it through another week don’t need to go outside, i’ve seen enough can’t take much more out there, it’s all so bleak come and join me here in my quiet place, in my quiet place come and join me here in my quiet place, in my quiet place, in my quiet place wasting away wasting the day i’m feeling okay but i’m wasting away wasting away wasting the day i’m feeling okay but i’m wasting away
2.
Heartbeats 05:05
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rubik’s cube on the desk, unsolved another life yet to evolve it’s all a puzzle and the game keeps changing piece by piece, the board is rearranging roll the dice and watch the world unfold take your turn, another story told the clock will tick until the end of time the buzzer sounds, pass through the finish line this life’s a mystery doomed to repeat history our time isn’t absolute taking a taste of the forbidden fruit fading fast, I’m going under counting sheep ’til my endless slumber one by one, the leaves start falling the summer’s gone and now the winter’s calling hold on tight when we start flying take a breath, we’re only dying it’s death’s design and you cannot shake this just close your eyes and accept its sweet bliss this life’s a mystery doomed to repeat history our time isn’t absolute taking a taste of the forbidden fruit listen to our heartbeats fading life is wondrous and oh so fleeting listen to our heartbeats fading life is wondrous and oh so fleeting
3.
Flatline 04:16
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ghosts of the past awaken me and crawling shadows is all i see they fill the room, invade the air and i slip in a state of despair i tell myself a little lie to hide the truth keeps me alive but the fears and pain of reality are always here, haunting me lock me up and throw away the key the outside world’s too much for me my heart can’t take this all the time one more scare and i’ll flatline no more sleep, i shall not dream i’ll break these walls that wouldn’t let me free i’ll face the fear, feel the pain it is my fate to not die in vain i will survive what the darkness brings like a knife to the heart or familiar stings and learn to live with a haunted past and enjoy the moments while they last lock me up and throw away the key the outside world’s too much for me my heart can’t take this all the time one more scare and i’ll flatline
4.
Paper Heart 03:43
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you always were a mess you and your bright red dress you stained and you bruised my heart you tore my soul apart i fell and I scraped my knees you ignored all of my pleas you painted scars with lies you and your ugly disguise i’ve been a fool a fool for love you used me and abused me and all of the above my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it you always were afraid to join in the parade you laughed and you stood aside you snuck away to go hide i wanted you to shine i thought you’d always be mine but you poisoned both of our souls and you just dug deeper holes i’ve been a fool a fool for love you used me and abused me and all of the above my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it my paper heart can no longer take it
5.
Home Tonight 04:54
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i have done wrong, i’m all colored in red i’m still surprised that i am not dead i’ve wasted my time with all of this booze i just thought i had nothing to lose i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight i know my past, i’m unable to change but i know my future, i can rearrange i’ll make my bed, i am ready to go the past is the past, let's get on with the show i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight home tonight i’ll be home tonight don’t you worry i’ll be home tonight i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight i’m okay i’ll be alright don't you worry i’ll be home tonight
6.
Diamond Skies, Pt. 1 04:10
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come paint your pictures in the clouds with me whenever you feel lonely i can help you through the troubled tides and find the rhythm in your diamond skies send a message through the airwaves, darling when you need love, i’ll hear you calling i’ll lift you up and push you through the tides i see the future in your diamond eyes reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it take me down the long unwinding road i’ll follow you through the unknown i’ll always be there by your side while we’re swimming in our diamond minds i dreamt through days when i needed you my heart was cold what could i do you always warm it with your shining soul and i don’t ever wanna let you go reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it we’ll find the rhythm here in our diamond skies, with our diamond eyes, lost in our diamond minds, diamonds minds we’ll find the rhythm here in our diamond skies, with our diamond eyes, lost in our diamond minds, diamonds minds reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it
7.
Diamond Skies, Pt. 2 04:48
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i don’t know what i’d do without you i think i’d fall to the ground i don’t know what it is about you i just want you around well i invited you to stay here with me in my quiet place so i wouldn’t go another day all alone without the sight of your face reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it reckless i need you to get me through this bring me back up to the surface make me believe that it was worth it, worth it
8.
Proud Loser 03:20
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i’m a loser and that’s okay it never bothered me anyway when i get pushed, i push right back i find the light when the world turns black i’m hanging on until the credits roll not giving up until my story’s told it’s all a struggle and the world keeps turning the fire’s out, but my heart’s still burning you don’t have to worry about me, i know i’ll be okay as long as i’m still breathing, i know i’ll make my way when obstacles get in my way when all the gold has turned to gray i carry on and on and on and say goodbye to the setting sun when all that shined has turned to rust when all that’s left is only dust i tip my hat and go on my way and greet another day i’m not perfect and that’s okay it never bothered me anyway yeah i fuck up every now and then i hit reset and i try again i’ll find the way if i look hard enough i pick a path and keep looking up it’s all a struggle and the world keeps turning the fire’s out, but my heart’s still burning you don’t have to worry about me, i know i’ll be okay as long as i’m still breathing, i know i’ll make my way when obstacles get in my way when all the gold has turned to gray i carry on and on and on and say goodbye to the setting sun when all that shined has turned to rust when all that’s left is only dust i tip my hat and go on my way and greet another day when obstacles get in my way when all the gold has turned to gray i carry on and on and on and say goodbye to the setting sun when all that shined has turned to rust when all that’s left is only dust i tip my hat and go on my way and greet another day
9.
Threw It Away 04:36
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i’ve been a fool for love, i let it tear me up inside the only thing i wanted to do after all this struggle was to hide i wanted to be alone and get lost inside my head but i was cursed with the awful memory of all the things that you said i gave you all that i had, every day and you just thew it all away i’ve been a mess before, but now i’ve fallen to the floor and broke into a million pieces as i clearly lost the war all i wanted was to hide, i was ashamed of who i became the way it all went down between us, i admit was pretty lame i gave you all that i had, every day and you just thew it all away you threw it all away you threw it all away you threw it all away you threw it all away i gave you all that i had, every day and you just thew it all away well now some time has passed, i feel better now that you’re gone i didn’t know it then, but i realize it now that everything was wrong well i found myself a brand new light, to help guide me through the haze and now my eyes are open wide and i can finally see a new path to better days i am so glad that you’re gone ‘cause everything was all so wrong i am so glad that you’re gone ‘cause everything was all so wrong you threw it all away you threw it all away you threw it all away you threw it all away
10.
The Journey (feat. Bxtchwrxsts) 03:34
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i made my way through the darkness soaking pain down a river of alcohol and i got caught in a fishing net and tossed back with nothing left at all we’ve been riding in the same boat out of luck and time and we are ready to go and hit reset on the station we’ve been tied down, but now we’re ready to grow let it loose, let it be grab your soul and set it free light your heart like a match and drop it in the gasoline make a scene with your dream fire it up and let it bleed the world’s your canvas let your colors be seen i made my way down the highway i left my mark on the path that I left behind and i got lost in regretting all the things that i did when i was blind we’ve been running in the same race messing up and falling further from the finish line tripping over lots of speed bumps taking short cuts and we’re still losing our minds let it loose, let it be grab your soul and set it free light your heart like a match and drop it in the gasoline make a scene with your dream fire it up and let it bleed the world’s your canvas let your colors be seen it’s true i lost my mind a little more than further behind the back of my eyes are buzzin’ like a beehive don’t matter ‘cause i’m flyin’ toward the sun there’s more honey where that came from golden treasure, it’s the nectar in my blood i’ll reflect light from every wound that’s cut i lost my mind a little more than further behind the back of my eyes are buzzin’ like a beehive let it loose, let it be grab your soul and set it free light your heart like a match and drop it in the gasoline make a scene with your dream fire it up and let it bleed the world’s your canvas let your colors be seen let it loose, let it be grab your soul and set it free light your heart like a match and drop it in the gasoline make a scene with your dream fire it up and let it bleed the world’s your canvas let your colors be seen

about

My 9th album.

credits

released July 6, 2021

produced by Alan Abulencia
music by Alan Abulencia + Phillip Rigby
lyrics by Alan Abulencia except for
“The Journey”, lyrics by Alan Abulencia + Bxtchwrxsts

mixed and mastered by Phillip Rigby

Alan Abulencia - vocals/keys/synths/drums
Phillip Rigby - guitars/bass + synths on “Home Tonight”
Ilia Skibinsky - saxophone

Bxtchwrxsts - vocals on “The Journey”

album art - @pan_ninie

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Alan Abulencia Syracuse, New York

I make music. It's okay.

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